How to lose your fattitude

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"I feel fat." Dozens of innocent jeans get angrily thrown on beds every year thanks to these three words. Then comes the suck-it-in and wrestle with your back-up pairs, the obligatory side-view stare-out in the mirror.

You feel flustered, hot-faced, and even that generous maxi skirt isn't doing it for you. Oh hai, wardrobe-rage. Thing is, the problem is probably in your head. "If you wake up feeling unhappy, your perception of yourself, your body and your world may be negatively coloured, if not distorted," explains clinical psychologist Liane Lurie.

Once you're in that mindset, its hard to get out of it. The bloated stomach must surely be last nights pizza converted into two kilos of fat, right?

The good news is that you can find the reason and you can override your destructive thoughts by simply changing your behaviour. A quick set of squats here, a chug of H20 there and you'll be out the door and on with your day again. Here's how to never have a fat day again.

The problem - you skipped the gym
So you watched Giuliana & Bill instead of going to spin class. Don't stress. Weight loss happens when your body burns stored fat. Exercise helps the process along by increasing the amount of fuel (stored as fat) your body needs to burn. But it's a slow process you wont lose a kilo after one spin class and you wont gain a kilo after missing one. "Our minds have a tremendous effect on how we feel physically, even if we havent picked up any weight," says fitness expert Dr Kim Nolte. "Just make sure you attend your next gym session and try to be as consistent as possible."

Your strategy? A fast workout 
This quick sequence will give you a rush of endorphins, the feelgood chemicals that trigger positive feelings in the body. 
1. Resistance band squat with overhead press. Grab the ends of a resistance band in each hand and stand on the middle, feet shoulder-width apart, hands at shoulder height and palms facing forward. Lower into a squat until your thighs are at least parallel to the floor. As you stand, press your arms overhead until they're straight. That's 1 rep. Aim for 3 sets of 12-15, doing 20-30 star jumps between sets.

2. Plank. Get into a push-up position and lower your weight to your forearms (elbows should be directly under your shoulders). Keeping your back flat, hold 
for 30-60 seconds. Repeat for a total of 3 holds, running on the spot between holds.

The problem - you got drunk last night

Firstly: nobody feels their best the morning after. Alcohol depletes your body of water and triggers bloating as gas accumulates in the gut. This is because alcohol is a diuretic, causing less water to be reabsorbed from the kidneys and thus eliminated in the urine. "The body will prioritise the digestion of alcohol over any other food," says dietitian Kim Hofmann. Those drinks also hamper your digestive systems ability to digest complex foods properly. The result: bleugh.

Your strategy? Brew some tea
Instead of reaching for a cold soft drink (although last year, researchers at Sun Yat-Sen University in China found Sprite was the best drink to reduce a hangovers duration), brew some tea. Researchers from the University of California, US, found peppermint tea can aid digestion and curb flatulence. And next time, eat well before that bottle of cab sav, your body needs glucose to digest alcohol, says Hoffman.

The problem - you're PMS-ing 
Your menstrual cycle involves major hormonal fluctuations. Just before your period commences, there is a drop in progesterone, this is responsible for bloating, breast tenderness, mood swings, irritability - basically classic PMS symptoms, says reproductive medicine specialist Dr Saleema Nosarka. You actually gain kilos of water during this time since oestrogen causes fluid retention in your body. The result? Two words: spare tyre.

Your strategy? Do Yoga
Working out can affect your hormone levels and reduce those dreaded symptoms. Can't face a hardcore sweat session? The reclined twists you do in yoga gently massage your internal organs. Try this: lie on your back. Extend your arms straight out to the sides. Bend your right knee into your chest. Hold for 5-10 breaths. With each inhale, lengthen your spine from the crown of your head to your tailbone; with each exhale, twist right knee towards your left side. Then switch sides.

More: Five things people get wrong about weight loss

The problem - you have a food hangover
A 10-course degustation is a good idea at the time (or at least up until course six) but the next day - that feeling. A kilojoule OD isnt pretty, its usually with foods that are salty, spicy, sugary or extra fatty. " High fat meals tend to take longer to digest, so they stay in the stomach for an extended period - this could leave you feeling full for a lot longer than youre used to, contributing to the 'feeling fat' effect," says dietitian Jade Campbell. Plus salty food makes you retain water.

Your strategy? Drink several glasses of H2o
Water helps flush that bloat-inducing sodium and grease the gears of your sluggish digestive system. Also, take a walk at lunchtime, it'll help prompt the digestive tract to keep moving, which is what you want. For the next few days watch your portion sizes, load up on fibre and try to work out a couple of times.